


Online Personality

by Jules1398



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, M/M, Social Media, Tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-16
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-14 16:35:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 13,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11211960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jules1398/pseuds/Jules1398
Summary: Isak's blog is the only place where he truly gets to be himself. When a mutual messages him, he gets a chance to talk without having to pretend to be something that he's not.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm getting back into the fic writing mood.

It was Friday so, like every nearly week, Jonas dragged Isak along to some stupid party with Mahdi and Magnus. Not that he usually minded that much, they were pretty decent friends and they usually could get a hold of some pretty good weed. Isak was just tired and would rather mindlessly scroll though his dash. At least online he could be more real. Isak frowned when he saw who's house it was. 

"The party is at Eva's?" He asked Jonas. Isak was still convinced that she hated him after last year seeing as he'd broken up her and Jonas and then dated a girl that was awful to her. 

"Ja," Jonas replied, "Her mom is out of town again. Why?" 

He shrugged, "I just didn't know you two still talked." 

"We broke up but we're still friends. Chill out Isak." 

Magnus clapped them both on the shoulders. "I, for one am very excited for tonight." 

"Why is that Magnus?" Mahdi replied, "So you can smoke all my weed and still fail to get laid." 

Jonas and Isak burst into laughter. While Magnus pretended to be truly hurt by Mahdi's joke. 

They all ended up sitting in Eva's tub, hitting a homemade bong that they made out of a water bottle. And as usual, as soon as the conversation turned to girls, Isak went on his phone. 

This guy that he had been following recently tagged him in a post. Isak had followed him because he had seen one of his posts in the Star Wars tag and thought that he was hot. 

 

Isak was surprised to say the least. He had a decent amount of followers but rarely got any attention online and, when he did, it was rarely positive.  

Magnus nudged him. "Wake up, bro! Get off your phone, we're talking to you." 

Isak looked bewildered. "Huh?" 

"I asked if you thought Anita was hot. I've caught her staring at you in Norwegian." Jonas restated. 

Isak shrugged. "I guess she's just not really my type. I feel like I could do better. Like that first year girl with the short brown hair, the one that looks like Natalie Portman." 

"Yeah, I think I've heard of her," said Magnus. 

Mahdi snorted. "Isak, the last guy she dated was a twenty year old model. You look kind of like a rat. There's no chance in hell you'll snag a girl like that." 

"I might have a chance! It's pretty unlikely that she's gonna be able to date a model again." 

Then the door creaked open and Magnus nudged him again. _Fuck me_ , Isak thought. It was the girl. Of all parties she had to be in this one. She was with a blond girl and they were trying to determine if the allergy medicine in her hands would make them high. 

"Halla," spoke Isak. The girl just raised her eyebrows. 

"You know that's not gonna do anything, right?" 

The girl finally turned to him. "What is your name?" she asked. 

"Isak." 

"I'm Emma. Are you sure nothing will happen if we take more, Isak?" she asked. 

Isak walked over to her. "Nah, they'll just make you sleepy. I have something a little better for you." 

He stuck an ibuprofen on his tongue without telling her what it really was and she eagerly started to make out with him. The boys and the other girl left, and Isak hoped that somebody else would walk in before things got out of hand. Luckily, he heard somebody outside say something about the police. 

"Fuck, Emma," he said with fake disappointment. "The police are here. We've got to go before there's any trouble." 

And then he ran out of the bathroom and didn't stop running until he had climbed onto the back of Jonas' bike. 

"How'd things go with Emma?" Jonas asked over his shoulder as they rode to the kollektivet. 

"It was going well but we were interrupted," Isak replied. 

"That sucks." 

"Yeah," Isak lied. "But there's always next time." 

 

He sat was laying on his stomach unsure of what he should say to this Even guy. He went to the messaging tab to send him something only to find that Even had been sending him messages for like a month without getting a response. Isak guiltily started to type up an apology. 

 

 **evenbnas**  

Halla this is Isak. Sorry for not replying to your messages. 

Haha no worries. I figured that since we are both Norwegian that we could talk about stuff. 

Like current events or something? 

Nei. More like people, movies, music. The stuff that makes life worth living, Isak. 

 

Isak forgot to respond to Even's message until he received a text right before the beginning of biology on Monday. 

 

 **evenbnas**  

 

I'm proud of him 

Me too I guess 

 

"Hei Isak," spoke a voice beside him. His head shot up from his phone to see Eva's friend, Sana. 

"Hei," he replied, completely confused. 

"I've heard that you are giving drugs to first years." Isak raised his eyebrows. It was none of her business.  

"I-" 

Sana cut him off. "Just don't do it in Eva's house. I can't stand it when somebody fucks over their friends." 

Isak nodded. 

"Isak and Sana, you can work together." 

Sana looked up. "Nei, I'm not sitting here." 

"Boys and girls can work together. We do that here in Norway," replied the teacher with the saggy-boobs. 

Isak glared at her in response to the blatantly racist comment but she probably thought he was more mad over the seating arrangement. "Put your phone away, Isak. Class starts now." 

 

Isak and Even continued to send each other memes all week. Isak found himself laughing at nearly all of them even though most of them were painfully unfunny.  

He was just chilling and eating pizza on his bed when his phone pinged. He pulled it off his desk, hoping that it was Even but then frowned when he saw the name on the screen. 

 

 **Emma**  

Hei, Isak. I was wondering if you guys could bring some beer to my party tonight. I know that you have older roommates that may be able to buy it for us. 

 

He was about to send a text to boy squad when he got a message from Even. 

 

 **evenbnas**  

Are you busy tonight, Isak? I'm bored lmao 

I'm free. What do you want to chat about. 

 

Isak told Emma that they couldn't make it and told the boys the party was cancelled. 

 

 **evenbnas**  

What kind of music are you into? 

I really like 90's hip hop. 

Like N.W.A. and stuff. 

Have you listened to Nas? 

Nas? 

Yeah of course I've listened to him. 

My favorite album is Illmatic. 

That is a good album. 

You haven't listened to him! 

I've listened to some... 

No you haven't! 

It's okay I'll send you his music sometime. 

Takk, Even. 

So what year are you in? 

I'm a '99. 

Sweet. I'm in my third year. 

Are you going to university next year? 

Hopefully. I want to study film even though it will be difficult to find a job. Maybe I'll go to UiB. 

I mean as long as you are following your dream. 

Damn. I have to go Isak. 

Already? 

Sorry, I forgot that my girlfriend was coming over tonight. 

 

Isak frowned in disappointment. He knew that Even was just a stranger, but he was starting to think that they could be something. But Even had a girlfriend and probably lived in or near Bergen. And, unlike Isak's profile, nothing on Even's tumblr suggested that he was anything but straight. 

Then he got a text from Emma. 

 **Emma**  

I have spoken with your friends. Why would you lie about not being able to come to the party, asshole? 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to update about every other day. I'm a few chapters ahead rn.  
> Sana deserved more time in her season but I guess skam deserved like 5 more seasons.

When Isak walked up to the boys on Monday morning they stared at him in silence. 

"Halla," he spoke breaking the silence. 

"Good morning, traitor," replied Mahdi. 

"Bro," said Magnus, "I was finally going to sleep with a first year but instead I spent my Friday night watching reruns of bad 90's tv." 

"Sorry, it was just a family thing," Isak lied. He hadn't texted his mom back in ages and he only texted his dad for money. And he hadn't really spoken to his sister, Lea, much since she went to Tromsø for university last year. 

Jonas looked worried. "Is your mom okay?" he asked. 

"She's just stressed," Isak said, trying to avoid going any further into it. 

"Stress? My mom has been stressed since I came out of the womb!" Mahdi joked. 

They stopped talking about Isak's family but Jonas didn't stop looking concerned and Isak regretted not coming up with a different excuse. 

 

The next day, Isak cornered Emma at her locker. He didn't really like her much, but he liked having a good reputation at Nissen. It made him kind of a douche, but he didn't really care.

"So, Emma," he started, but she rolled her eyes and ignored him. 

He tried again. "There's this asshole in second year and, you see, there's this cute girl that he really likes but he's already managed to fuck everything up. So do you think she'll give him another chance, or should he just drop out of school and live alone forever?" 

Emma giggled. "I think she might give him a chance." 

"Really?! I'll have to let him know then." 

Emma gently shoved him. "You better come to a party with me this week. No ditching! In fact, a girl in your year is hosting it, Vilde. I think she needs a place to throw it. You have an apartment right?" 

"Ja, but-" 

"Perfect!" Emma grinned. "I will tell her that you are hosting this Friday." 

After she left, Isak groaned to himself. He knew that this week he was going to have to spend an evening with her and avoid being serious once again. 

 

Friday rolled around and he was grumpy to say the least. Vilde, Sana, and Eva had showed up to the apartment over an hour before the party was due to start. Apparently it was a pre-game for their theater club or something. 

Eskild was super excited about hosting a party even though he would be older than the people attending. Even Linn was out and dressed in neon for the rave party. Isak was just wearing a black t-shirt and got pissy when Sana made him put pink paint on his cheeks. 

"You are the host, Isak. Get with the mood of the party. Emma probably won't appreciate you thinking that you are too cool for this," Sana pointed out. 

 

As far as Isak could tell, everybody was enjoying the party except him. He flirted with Emma for a while even though it pained his entire soul. He told her about Illmatic (which he had been listening to nonstop ever since Even mentioned it the Friday before) and he criticized her for loving Justin Bieber.  

If he thought that the conversation was rough, dancing with her was so much worse. She kissed him right at the beginning and didn't stop. They made out for a solid 20 minutes before everybody had to leave so that they could get to their meeting on time. Isak was invited along but he politely declined, claiming that he had to focus on cleaning up his apartment. Cleaning was far better than spending the rest of the night with Emma.

He was emptying old beers when he got a message from Even. 

 

 **evenbnas**  

I just realized that I have no idea what you look like. 

Haha I guess you dodged a bullet then. 

Do you really want to know? 

Ja, send me a pic. 

Idk if we are there yet... 

Lol a fully-clothed one. 

Oh well in that case 

 

Did you make somebody take that for you, Isak? 

No it's an old picture. 

I'd take a new one now but my entire apartment is covered in empty beer cans. 

Did you throw a party tonight? How was it? 

I was kind of forced into it. It was fine. 

What did you do tonight? 

Sonja and I went on a date. 

And how was it? 

It was okay. 

We have been together for 4 years but she and I are drifting further and further apart everyday. 

I'm sorry. 

I just can't dump her because of her aluminum leg. 

What? 

She stepped on a mine up in Troms a few years back. 

She is doing much better with physical therapy but I just can't leave her. 

Really? 

At least aluminum technology is getting much better these days... 

You're joking. 

Ja. 

That's not funny! 

I bet you're laughing right now. 

Nei? 

Isak, can I ask you something? 

 

Isak heard the front door slam open and he rushed into the living room. There stood Noora, suitcase in hand, and she looked pretty shaken up. 

"William and I have decided to take a break," she announced to him, as if he really cared. 

"I'm sorry to hear that," Isak said carefully. He wasn't sure that he really wanted to hear the entire story. Thankfully, Eskild walked into the room and comforted her.

Isak checked his phone.

 

 **evenbnas**  

Isak? 

Nevermind. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I still think that Lea Valtersen is Isak's older sister and you can rip that from my cold, dead hands.


	3. Chapter 3

Isak felt really guilty for not responding to Even, but the whole Noora situation caught him totally off guard. He felt a little guilty about her whole William situation but he was much more worried about himself. He just didn't want to get kicked out of the kollektivet now that she was back. 

He had messaged Even to see if he wanted to chat, but he said he was busy with his girlfriend that day. So Isak just sat across from where Eskild, Noora, and Linn were sitting, bored out of his mind.  

"Where will Noora sleep now? We only have three beds," Isak asked. 

Eskild assured her that they would make room and then promptly kicked him out for the day because apparently he couldn't handle his "grumpy energy." 

Isak texted Jonas to see if he wanted to chill, but he didn't answer. He was probably still asleep after going to some party the night before. Luckily, Isak got a text. 

 

 **Magnus**  

Hei, Isak. I was wondering if you were available to help me with my math homework today? 

Ja, when should I come over? 

Now is good if you can. Takk. 

Ok. I'm on my way 

 

Magnus pulled the door open before Isak could even ring the doorbell. "Mamma is sleeping right now." 

Isak raised an eyebrow. It was strange that Mrs. Fossbakken was sleeping in this late, seeing as it was nearly 13:00. 

"Is she okay?" Isak asked. Mrs. Fossbakken had always been so kind to him and he didn't want her to be sick or anything. 

Magnus shrugged. "She's just a little down today. You know how it is." 

"I guess," replied Isak, still completely confused. The last time he was over, she was practically bouncing off the walls. She had brought them snacks on like five separate occasions even though he was only there for three hours. 

"Takk again for coming over. I really have no idea what is happening in math," Magnus said to change the subject. 

Isak nodded. "You're welcome. Though, you might not need my help if you didn't stare at Vilde for the entirety of the class." 

Magnus laughed. "Isak, bro. I'm pretty sure that I'd need your help in math no matter what."  

 

 **evenbnas**  

Have you seen Romeo + Juliet? 

Ja. We watched the version with the guy who looks like Zac Efron in class. 

Nei, Isak! 

The one with Leonardo DiCaprio! 

Well, I guess not. They can't be that different though. 

!!! 

You need to watch it! 

It's a cinematic masterpiece! 

Okay. I'll watch it when I have time. 

When you've finished, text me so we can talk about it, 

 

 

"Halla." Isak looked up from his phone to see that Jonas was talking to him from his locker a few feet away. 

"Hei, Jonas. What's up?" He replied as he struggled to open his locker. 

"Saturday is Magnus' birthday. We are going to throw him a party," Jonas said. 

The door to Isak's locker finally swung open and a few crumpled up pieces of paper fell out.  

"Do you need me to host? We had a party last Friday but I'm sure that Eskild and Linn wouldn't mind too much. I think they had fun last weekend." 

"You hosted a party?" Jonas raised an eyebrow. 

Isak nodded. "Ja, a pre-game for some revue club. But it was more Vilde's doing. Emma practically forced me. You guys wouldn't have enjoyed it much." 

"Okay," said Jonas. "I'm hosting on Saturday. My dad is on a business trip and my sister is spending the weekend at my mom's house. Mahdi's cousin is getting beer for him so it'll be awesome." 

"Sounds great," Isak replied. "We have got to get Vilde to come. Maybe Magnus will finally have a chance with her." 

Jonas laughed. "Ja, maybe she'll take pity on him since he's turning 17 and he still manages to send girls running in the other direction." 

 

Thursday night, Isak watched Romeo + Juliet and he cried for twenty minutes. Luckily, nobody else was home to see how much of a mess he was. He texted Even to see if he was up but he did not respond. 

 

On Friday, he was supposed to go to some Halloween party with Emma, so she came over to the kollektivet to pre-game. 

It was very awkward to say the least, seeing as it was just the two of them. They were wearing matching outfits for the party (he was Julius Caesar and she was Cleopatra), but that was where the similarities stopped. They talked about pointless things while he downed a few beers and scrolled through his dashboard until he received a message. 

 

 **evenbnas**  

Isak, it is only 21:21 and I'm already bored out of my mind. 

Me too. I'm supposed to go to this Halloween party but I'd much rather stay home. 

Ditch then. You can text me instead haha. 

I'm going with a girl from school though. 

I thought you were gay? 

Ja. 

It's just a thing. 

Haha I got it. I don't need the details. 

 

"Isak, can you get me some more wine?" Emma asked. She was glaring at him and tapping her foot. 

"Umm, yeah. I'll be right back." Isak set his phone on the table and went to the kitchen to fill up her glass. 

When he got back, Emma was standing up and holding her purse. "I'm going to leave, Isak." 

"But the party doesn't start for a half an hour. We'll be too early," 

"Nei, Isak. I'm leaving. Not you. Do you think that I want to go to a party with somebody who has been ignoring me the entire evening? Honestly, Isak, I hope you know that you're being a complete asshole." 

Emma walked out and, for once, Isak actually felt somewhat guilty about how he had been treating her lately. He went to his room and laid on his bed to text Even. 

 

 **evenbnas**  

Though, it isn't very nice to be hitting on girls when you aren't interested in them. 

It's bad for them and probably for yourself. 

But I guess that you have your reasons and it's none of my business. 

Isak? 

I'm sorry. Don't ignore me please. 

She left. I can talk now. 

I thought you were going to a party? 

Not anymore lol 

I was supposed to go to one with Sonja but I left before we even got there. 

She wouldn't stop monitoring me like I  was some sort of child. 

rip 

Like I'm 19. I can drink as much as I please. 

I'm sorry. That sucks. 

Oh! I watched Romeo + Juliet by the way. 

!!! 

And??? 

It was actually very good! 

Did you cry? 

Nei.

Haha liar 

How do you know that I'm lying when you can't even see my face? 

So you did cry. 

Maybe a little. 

A little? 

Shut up. 

Wow, Isak. Are you embarrassed because I know that you cried? 

Nei? 

You're cute when you're flustered. 

You can't even see me right now! 

Nei, but I know that you are. 

Isak, you are the most amazing person that I've never met. 

You're the most amazing person I've never met too. 

One day, I will meet you. 

Then what will I be? 

Probably average. 

My poor broken heart. 

I'm so happy that we have been messaging. 

It's a relief to finally talk to somebody who's real if that makes sense. 

Ja, it does. 

I know this might sound cheesy, but your messages have made my life better. 

Aww <3 

Shut up. 

 

They didn't stop texting until Isak fell asleep with a smile spread across his face.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, Even's yt video is SO GOOD. I'm literally shooketh. But we still need answers on his backstory like literally the Eid clip is gonna be wild. Also JONAS AND EVA HOOKED UP LAST WEEK. oh myyy godddd, I love them.

**e** **venbnas**  

I believe that life is like a movie and that you can be the director of your own life. 

Do you get what I'm saying? 

Ja, I  understand. 

I don't quite agree though. 

No? 

What's more interesting is the infinity. 

What do you mean? 

Like all the parallel universes and like the sheer size of everything. 

It's like, we're just so small and insignificant compared to the infinite parallel universes that exist and that everything that can happen will happen and is happening. 

There's probably a parallel universe where there is an Isak and Even, except we're somewhere else. 

Like we are lying together. 

Ja 

Are you sure that you're completely sober right now? 

Haha 

Have you never thought about that? 

Well, ja, but it makes me feel so lonely. 

But it's so interesting! 

Nah, I don't like it. 

Why not? 

It freaks me out a bit. 

Like thinking like that. 

It's your head and all your thoughts 

and the only way to escape them is to die. 

That's really dark though. 

But have you never thought of that before? 

Nei. 

Jeez, I forgot how young you are. 

I'm only a year below you. 

Ja, but I was born in '97. 

Still... 

 

Isak and Even texted all weekend. He barely left his room except to eat. Eskild probably thought that Linn was starting to rub off on him.  

Texting Even just made Isak so happy. He never had to pretend with Even. He could be who he was and say what he was really thinking. 

 

When Isak walked up to the school courtyard on Monday morning, his friends were in the middle of a conversation. 

"Bro," Jonas said, "I went in for a kiss and I swear that the girl had a mustache." 

"I saw you two talking and I didn't see a mustache," replied Mahdi. 

"Yeah, not from far away. But, if you got closer, then you would have seen it too," Jonas reasoned. 

"What are you guys talking about?" asked Isak. 

"Magnus' party," replied Jonas in a monotone voice. 

Isak had completely forgotten and felt terribly guilty. "Oh fuck!" he exclaimed. "That was Saturday! Fuck, congratulations bro. You're 17 now." Isak hugged Magnus awkwardly. 

"Ja," he replied. 

"I'm so sorry," Isak continued. "I was stuck at some family thing. It was totally lame. Wish I could've been there." 

All of the boys looked skeptical and Isak couldn't really blame them.  

"But I nearly hooked up with Vilde!" Magnus exclaimed. 

"Ja?" Isak replied. 

"Nei," said Jonas, "They didn't even kiss." 

"We might have if we had chatted more," Magnus retorted. 

"Hate to break it to you, bro," Mahdi piped in, "but if you have to talk to her that much to get a kiss, she's probably not that keen on hooking up with you." 

Magnus threw his hands up in the air. "And to think that I thought you guys were my bros!" 

 

"Sana, I have a question for you," Isak said while they were studying for biology. 

She looked at him and gestured for him to speak. 

"No offence, but how are you religious?" he asked, and cringed at his own phrasing. If looks could kill, then Sana's expression would have caused Isak to be dead on the floor.  

He tried to clarify what he meant, but just made it much worse. "It's 2016 and the world is progressing. You're very smart. Don't you realize it's nonsense?" 

"Is there something about my religion that bothers you, Isak?" Sana replied, her voice radiating anger and annoyance. 

"Nothing specific about your religion, other than that you believe that like some things are right and that some things are wrong and there's a god who gets to decide those things, and says that homosexuality is wrong," Isak couldn't look her in the eye. He didn't want her to suspect the truth about him. "or, umm, to eat hot dogs or stuff like that." 

Sana stared him straight in the eyes and he felt extremely uncomfortable. "And what do you believe in, Isak?" 

He shrugged. "I just believe in natural science, the theory of evolution. I don't believe in anything other than that." 

"Okay. Then let's look at the theory of evolution. Explain homosexuality in terms of natural selection. It's a genetic dead end. Homosexual people do not typically pass on their genes. So, according to your beliefs, they should have gone extinct millions of years ago. Unless it isn't genetic, but a disease, or a choice that a person makes. What are your thoughts on the matter?" 

Isak was stunned by all of her reasoning and he couldn't think of a single argument so he awkwardly shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I don't go around thinking about homosexuality all the time!" 

"Right," Sana replied, seeming unconvinced, "So considering you don't have all of the answers either, let's just accept that there's a lot more between Heaven and Earth than any person knows. And instead of criticizing my religion, can't you just accept that we hold different beliefs?" 

Needless to say, Isak felt incredibly guilty. 

 

On Wednesday, Isak skipped out on half of his gym class so that he could text Even during his lunch. 

 

 **evenbnas**  

I think I may tell Sonja about you. It might be time for me to break things off with her. 

Really? 

That's good, I guess. 

Unless it makes you sad. 

Then I hope that it isn't my fault. 

I'm not sad! 

I wish I could kiss you. 

Me too. 

What would your parents say?

If you told them about us. 

I think that it would be fine. 

Or my dad wouldn't care much. 

But your mom? 

It doesn't matter what she thinks. 

She's crazy. 

In what way? 

Like she thinks that the world is ending or that Donald Trump is my uncle. 

Donald Trump is not my uncle. 

Thank god. 

Like it's a completely surreal situation, 

But I don't live with her anymore. I live in a kollektivet. 

I've decided that my life is better without mentally ill people around me. 

Oh. 

What would your parents think of me? 

Isak, my parents would love you. 

 

It was Friday night and the boys were still looking for a party. Jonas was insistent that they find somewhere to go because he had dressed up in a nice black button-down shirt and, damn, he looked good. 

Magnus' phone started ringing. It was some dude from Handels. Isak wasn't really listening much to what Magnus was saying, but it appeared that they had found a party. 

"There is a party today. It seems busy but Isak can use his sick moves to get us in," Magnus announced. 

"Why do I have to get us in? Jonas is the one who's dressed so slick," Isak replied. 

"Because it is Emma's party! You know she's into you," Magnus insisted. 

Isak shook his head. "Not anymore she's not. Emma hates me." 

"Come on, Isak. You can get us in. You already fixed things with her once. You can do it again," Mahdi pointed out. 

Then the boys started rapping and Isak finally gave in to his ridiculous friends. 

 

When they got to the house, some dude refused to let them in. Mahdi and Jonas were arguing with him while Magnus and Vilde were flirting with their eyes. 

"Look," Isak said, "I know Emma well. Emma Larzen. Just let me in and I will talk to her about this." 

The guy reluctantly let him in, leaving the others behind. And within about a minute he ran smack into Emma. 

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "I didn't invite you here. I thought that was clear after last Friday." 

"I know. I'm sorry. I was an asshole for ignoring you that evening," Isak apologized somewhat sincerely. 

"That's not the reason you're an asshole. You're an asshole because you allowed me to be interested in you even though you're gay. It's 2016 Isak. Get out of the closet!" Emma snapped. 

"How did you know?" Isak asked. He was afraid that if she figured it out, than other people would too. What if she had found his blog? 

"Somebody texted you when you went up to get me a drink. I thought you were hiding some girlfriend so I read the texts, but that wasn't exactly what it was," Emma replied. 

"You read my messages?" She had absolutely no right to invade his personal space like that. 

"You were playing me, Isak. And I knew it! I just wanted proof so that I could properly move on. Please, just leave my house." 

On his way out his phone buzzed with a message. 

 

 **evenbnas**  

I don't know but maybe things have been going a little too fast between us. Like, we've never really met and I  have a girlfriend. I know that it is my fault, but I need some time. I'm very sorry. 

 

Isak felt like his entire chest was going to explode. He walked out of Emma's house and started down the block. Jonas asked where he was going, face plastered with concern and Mahdi made a stupid fucking joke about a "family gathering." Isak shoved him back before continuing down the road. He was kicking the bushes and at one point he had to squat down because he could barely breathe.  

Once he caught his breath, Isak continued towards home with a broken image and a broken heart. 


	5. Chapter 5

"Are you okay, Isak?" Eskild asked, inviting himself into Isak's bedroom and sitting beside him. 

"Ja, why would you ask that?" Isak replied with a shrug, pretending that absolutely nothing was wrong. 

Eskild raised an eyebrow. "Isak it's Sunday. You've been wearing the same clothes for over 24 hours and you don't leave the room except to eat." 

"Fuck," Isak grumbled, rubbing his eyes. "I'm sorry that I'm worrying you. I've just got a lot of homework to do and-" 

"Isak. Stop with these excuses and tell me what's actually wrong. I'm your roommate and your friend. I actually want to hear about your problems and to help with them. First Noora won't tell me what really happened with William, and now you are going through some sort of crisis absolutely alone. I just want to help!" 

Isak played with a thread hanging off of the sleeve of his sweater. "It's just, I haven't even told Jonas yet and he's been my friend for longer." 

Eskild nodded. "I understand that, but if you aren't ready to tell him about what's happening and you feel like it'd be easier to talk to me, then I don't think he would be offended. Sometimes it's harder to talk to the people that are closest to us." 

Isak took a deep breath and looked at Eskild. "I have become somewhat involved with a person I met online. Like, a guy." 

"That's good, Isak! If he is making you happy, you shouldn't hide it. Sometimes secrets can become stressful and-," Eskild advised. 

"He said that he needed some time," Isak interrupted. "He's got a girlfriend and I think he's going to stay with her instead." 

"How long have they been together?" 

Isak bit his bit. "Four years." 

"Wow," Eskild raised his eyebrows. "Do you want me to be honest about this?" 

"Maybe not," Isak muttered. "You know what, fuck it. Just tell me." 

"There are a lot of guys that date girls and have guys on the side, but not a lot of guys would leave their girlfriends for a guy. Especially when they've been dating for a few years." 

Isak looked down at the ground. 

Eskild put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "But, hey, I've been wrong before. I don't know this guy, he could be really into you." 

"Takk, Eskild." 

 

Isak was having sleeping issues. Sure, his conversation with Eskild had calmed him a little, but he was still upset about what happened. He resolved that he should tell Jonas in the coming week. Maybe then he'd get some shut eye. But for now, he was still rolling around at midnight, and he had to get up for school the next day. 

And then he heard Noora's voice right outside his door. Nobody responded to her, so she must have been talking on the phone. He heard her say "Nobody is willing to sacrifice anything for love in 2016," and he suddenly got angry because he thought about how Even was unwilling to break it off with Sonja to be with him. 

Isak walked over to his bedroom door and yanked it open. "Can you keep it down, Noora?" he asked angrily. 

"Sorry," she replied, "Eskild has a guy over and the walls are thin." 

"The walls are thin here too. I'm trying to sleep!" Isak hissed. 

She nodded. "Sorry, I can talk to Eva another time." 

"Takk." Isak started walking back into his room but stopped in the doorway and turned around to face her. "And, Noora?" 

"Ja?" 

"William is an idiot if he gives up on you." 

Noora smiled at him and he went back to bed. 

 

On Wednesday, Isak was able to catch Jonas alone at his locker. "Hei Jonas, what are you doing after school today?" 

"I am going to Thea's art show. Why?" 

Isak shrugged. "I just feel like we haven't gotten a chance to hang out and talk for a while. What about tomorrow?" 

Jonas shook his head. "I'm helping Eva with a paper for Norwegian after school tomorrow. I can do right after school on Friday, though. Skate park?" 

Isak crinkled his nose. Jonas loved skating, but Isak was absolute shit at it. "How about we grab some kebab?" 

Jonas laughed. "You don't want to watch me skate anymore? Well, I could never say no to kebab." 

Isak smiled. He was finally ready to tell Jonas the truth about his sexuality and about Even. 

 

It was Thursday and Isak had finished his homework, so he was just chilling on his bed and watching vine compilations on tumblr when his phone started to ring. 

He looked at it and saw that it was Jonas, which was weird, because he thought that he was supposed to be tutoring Eva. Maybe they had finished, but why would Jonas call him when they were meeting the very next day? Before his phone could stop ringing, Isak picked up. 

"Halla, Jonas," he said somewhat awkwardly. Isak hated speaking on the phone, even to his friends. 

"Isak?" Jonas' voice sounded angry. 

"Ja?" Isak hoped that Jonas was okay. 

"Did you intentionally break up me and Eva last year?" 

Isak went silent. He couldn't believe Eva had told Jonas. Isak deeply regretted how he had done so much harm to two of his closest friends. 

Isak was nearly crying now, "I'm so sorry, Jonas." 

"Were you ever going to tell me?" 

Jonas must have taken Isak's silence as a "no" because the next thing he said was, "I don't think that I want to go get kebab with you anymore. And don't bother coming to the party tomorrow or the pre-game at Mahdi's." 

 

Isak knew that his friend's were going to a party for some russ group from their school, so on Friday night, he made sure to find a different party to get absolutely trashed at. He seen some people talking about an upcoming Bakka party on instagram, so he decided to go there and be somewhat anonymous. 

But within like two hours, he was absolutely wasted and couldn't stop crying. He didn't know how to get home and he felt so alone. Some drunk girls saw him and came over to offer him reassurances. And, in a moment of weakness, he messaged Even. 

 

**evenbnas**  

Im so drumk and alonee and I canf srtop crying 

Where are you? 

Message me your number and I'll call. 

 

Isak sent him his phone number and Even called him in less than a minute. 

"Isak, what's going on? Where are you?" Even's voice was deep and Isak found it attractive. 

"I don't know," he sobbed, "Some party in Oslo." 

"Where in Oslo? I can come get you." Isak was confused. He had no idea that Even lived near Oslo. 

"I don't know it's some Bakka party. I think the host's name is Camilla," Isak slurred. 

He heard a feminine voice in the background followed by Even saying, "No, Sonja. I have to leave." Even spoke into the phone again, "I'm on my way. A few of my friends are there, I'll send them to get you. Ha det." Even hung up.  

A drunk girl patted Isak's back. "You'll be okay! If you need something to make you feel better, I can get a leaf from outside. It's not a flower but plants are plants." 

He had absolutely no idea what that meant. 

"Hei, are you Isak?" asked a guy with black hair and dark brown eyes. He looked completely sober. 

Isak nodded and the boy typed something into his phone. "I'm Yousef, a friend of Even's."  

A bunch of other boys headed over to where they were standing and said they were named Elias, Mikael, Mutta, and Adam. Isak doubted that he would remember who was who in his drunken state. 

They escorted him out of the house and Isak ran over to the bushes and vomited on the ground near them. 

The boy that was named Mikael snorted. "Well, that's one way to meet all of your boyfriend's friends." 

Isak shook his head. "Even's not my boyfriend," he slurred. "He hasn't talked to me in over a week." 

"Well, he sent us after you," Elias pointed out. 

"He probably just felt bad for me. He's got a girlfriend who probably isn't a total mess." 

Mikael shook his head. "He has a girlfriend, that's true, but he's only with her because she's the "safer" option. He hasn't stopped talking about you for a while now, bro. I probably know more about you that some of your friends at this point." 

Then, Isak saw Even come running over. He was really tall and he looked even hotter in person. Isak thought he might pass out, and not just because of the alcohol. 

Even wrapped Isak in a warm hug. "Are you okay?" he asked. 

"Be careful, man," Adam piped in. "He might vomit on you." 

"I'm fine," Isak replied. "I just don't know how to get home and I've lost most of my friends and my roommate is working tonight and-" 

"Shh," said Even, running his fingers through his hair in reassurance. Isak hadn't realized how hard he had been crying. "Let's get you home, okay?" 

He gave Even his address and they walked back to the kollektivet together. Isak thought he was going to leave, but Even invited himself in with him and, when Isak fell asleep, he could feel the weight of Even's body on the bed right next to him. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just got back from my first pride ever <3

When Isak woke up, Even was no longer lying next to him, but he had gotten a text. 

 

 **Jonas**  

Sorry that I've been an asshole the past few days. Eva and I were in a rough patch at that time anyway. I don't really blame you for everything that happened between us. I still have feelings for her but I feel like we both have a lot of growing to do before that can happen. And please don't blame Eva for telling me. She thought I already knew and it just slipped out. You are and always will be my best friend, Isak. I forgive you for everything. We can get kebab after school on Monday if you still want to talk. 

 

Isak was shocked that Jonas forgave him for pretty much fucking up all of his life last year. Jonas truly was an amazing friend. 

He wondered where Even had gone, but then he figured that he had probably went back home or to his girlfriend's house as soon as Isak had fallen asleep. 

So, when Isak saw him in the kitchen, making eggs and joking with Noora and Eskild, he was taken aback. 

When Even saw him he grinned and pulled him into a warm hug. "Good morning! I made you breakfast." 

Noora grabbed Eskild's arm. "Look at the time, Eskild. We're gonna be late!" 

Eskild looked at her with a confused expression on his face. "Late for what?" 

She glared at him. "For yoga?" 

"You do yoga?" Isak asked. He had never heard them talk about it before, but he was glad that Noora was finally getting out. 

"Oh yeah that yoga!" Eskild said nodding. "Ja, we've started a new yoga class. Bath yoga!" 

Noora rubbed her temples. "Yes, well we really have to be going now, Eskild." 

"Ja, we wil be leaving. Please help yourself to any cayenne pepper in the fridge or cabinet or yeah. Bye!" 

The two of the hastily left the room and Isak really had no clue what had just occurred. 

"When I woke up I thought you had left," he told Even. 

Even laughed. "Don't be silly, Isak. I was just in here, cooking you breakfast and talking with your friends." 

Isak shrugged and moved to stand closer to Even. "It's just that, since you sent that message I've gotten the feeling that you didn't want to talk to me anymore." 

"I just needed a bit of time, Isak. To figure things out. Eggs?" he asked, bringing the spatula up to Isak's mouth. 

He moaned a little at the delicious flavor. "What's in this?" Isak said with his mouth full. 

Even laughed. "Just a tablespoon of sour cream. But let's keep that between us. My eggs wouldn't be so special if other people got ahold of the recipe." 

He turned the stove off and spooned the eggs onto two plates that already had toast on them. A new song came on the radio and Even's mouth dropped open as he turned it up. "This song, though?" 

Isak finally figured out what it was. "5 Fine Frøkner? Even, this is absolute shit." 

Even grasped at his heart in mock hurt. "How dare you? This is an ultimate jam!" 

He rolled his eyes. "It's like that hashtag. When you finally meet the man of your dreams, but he likes Gabrielle." 

"I am the man of your dreams?" Even teased and then pointed at himself. "Is that me that you're talking about?" 

Isak blushed. "Also," Even added, "you are totally dancing to the music right now!"  

Isak hadn't even noticed that he was moving to the beat. Even got up close to him and started to dance with him as he mouthed along to the lyrics. 

"Did you ever do it? Figure things out, I mean?" Isak whispered to Even. 

"I'm meeting with Sonja tonight. To break up with her. You're the only person for me, Isak," Even replied softly, cupping his cheek in his hand. 

Then, Even moved his hand down to his chin and pushed their mouths together. Isak thought his heart would explode. It was amazing. Kissing Even was so different from kissing girls. With girls, Isak was careful to make sure that they liked it because he wasn't going to enjoy it no matter what. But with Even? With Even, they just melted into each other. Even though it was their first time kissing and it should have been a little awkward, it wasn't. Because how could it be awkward? Even was perfect. 

 

Jonas and Isak sat side by side on top of a picnic table, eating kebab and making small talk. When there was a break in their conversation, Isak decided it was time to talk about what he was really planning on discussing. 

"So you know how I've been acting a little weird lately?" Isak asked, looking over to his best friend. 

Jonas nodded. 

"It's because of somebody I like. Well, I guess we kind of have a thing now." 

"What's his name?" Jonas asked. 

Isak gaped at him. "How did you know?!" Isak was always so careful about keeping it a secret. He had  even gone so far as to date Sara again last year.  

Jonas shrugged. "I'm your best friend and I'm observant. I figured that was the reason that you've been avoiding Emma. So, again, what's his name?" 

"Even. I met him online, but we've been talking for a while and he spent last weekend at my place," Isak explained. 

"I can't wait to meet him," Jonas replied. "Are you going to tell the boys?" 

"Probably at some point." Isak hadn't really thought so far as to telling them. He figured that if Jonas knew, that'd be enough for now. But they were his friends and they deserved to know. 

"If you're not comfortable yet, take your time, but I know that they'll support you no matter what." 

 

On Wednesday when Sana sat next to him in Biology she turned to him immediately. "Did you get the article that I sent you?" 

"No?" Isak replied. He had been so caught up in Even that he hadn't looked much at his texts. 

"Well, it's not often that I'm wrong, but in this case I was. It's about the evolutionary perspective on homosexuality," she explained. 

"Thanks," he said, "What about Islam? Anything new there?" 

Sana glared daggers at him. "Islam says the same thing it's always said. That all people in this world are worth the same, and that no human being should be spoken ill about, violated, judged or ridiculed. So if you hear anyone use religion to justify their hatred, don't listen to them, because hate doesn't come from religion. It comes from fear." 

Isak nodded. It was probably about time that he told his mother the truth about Even. 

 

He was waiting to meet Even at KB when he texted his mom. 

 

 **Mamma**  

Hei Mamma. There is something at I need to tell you. I've started a relationship with somebody. His name is Even. I know that God says it's a sin, but I cannot help how I feel about him. I hope that you can accept me because it's who I am and I love you. -Isak 

 

He heard knocking on the window and looked up. Even blew onto  the glass and drew a heart while he smiled from ear to ear. 

After they finished their coffee and walked out of the café Isak stopped just outside. "So, are you keen on going back to my place?" 

"Nei, Isak. I'm keen on checking into a fucking suite!" 

Isak raised his eyebrows, but went with Even. He would follow Even anywhere. 

The night was amazing. Even checked them in (while telling the front desk lady that he was beautiful, which made him blush), and then they kissed a little in the elevator, kissed a lot in their room, and did a few things that were beyond kissing. 

They ordered room service and sat naked on the floor, talking about anything and everything. Even brought up their future wedding and Isak laughed, but that's when he started getting the feeling that something might be wrong. He went from topic to topic and Isak could barely keep up. He decided that he would ask Even is something was up in the morning. 

When night came, Even wouldn't sleep. Isak drifted in and out, but every time he opened his eyes, Even was still walking around the suite. 

Isak didn't realize how serious it was until it was 0:15 and Even had walked out of the room with only his shoes on, claiming that he was going to bring back McDonald's. 

Isak yelled after him in the hallway, but he was already gone. He went back into the room and gathered all of Even's clothes while tears streamed down his face. Isak hadn't been this scared since his mother had started throwing plates around the kitchen, claiming that she wanted to get rid of the "demons." 

He ran out of the hotel after the front desk lady from earlier had pointed him in one direction with a shocked expression on her face. 

Isak called Mikael and explained the situation. He was out of town for the weekend, but he said he'd send somebody that could help. 

That's how Isak found himself face to face with a pretty girl with short blond hair. She hung up the phone and walked up to him. 

"Are you Isak?" she asked. He just nodded. "I'm Sonja, Even's old girlfriend. I have spoken with his parents. The police picked him up a while ago and they have taken him home." 

"Thank god he's safe," Isak gasped, feeling like he could finally breathe again. "What happened?" 

Sonja stared at him "He's manic! That's what's happening here! He's bipolar. You're not good for him. He's stopped taking his meds since you said something to him." Now they were both crying. "Do you think he ever loved you? He didn't. It was just some sick idea that he had in his head. Don't take it too personally." She got back into her car and drove away.  

Isak sat on the curb as tears streamed down his face, feeling more alone and heartbroken than ever before. He was still sobbing to himself when Eskild picked him up.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will probably be the last chapter unless I decide to do an epilogue or have an epiphany. If there's anything y'all want to see let me know. Also I know I've changed around the timing of some events, but I didn't want anything to feel too rushed.

Isak didn't know what to think when Even started texting him the lyrics to some song, so he told him to stop sending messages. He was probably still manic and Sonja, who had known him for years, said that his feelings were only a product of his mental state. 

Despite the fact that Even would probably stop talking to him as soon as he crashed, Isak did some research on bipolar disorder. He wanted to help Even eventually if he would let him. 

He also didn't leave his room the entire weekend and he could tell that his roommates were becoming concerned. Eskild, who actually knew about what happened, was in and out of his room all the time with food and distractions. Noora checked in a few times and told him that she was there if he needed to talk. Even Linn had popped in with lunch on Saturday and asked if he wanted to play FIFA. 

When Monday arrived, Isak planned on staying home and sleeping all day, but Jonas showed up at the crack of dawn to get Isak up and ready for school. Isak supposed that that's part of what had always made him such an awesome friend. 

He figured that getting through the day wouldn't be that bad seeing as the only people at school that would have any knowledge of what happened were Jonas and Noora (assuming Eskild had told her the full story.)  

So, when he heard people talking about it at school, it really sucked. Isak literally wanted to scream at them because they didn't know shit about what really happened. 

The worst part was when Isak, Mahdi, Magnus, and Jonas were sitting in the cafeteria and eating waffles. 

"I assume you've all heard about the Bakka kid by now," Mahdi started. 

"No?" Magnus wasn't always in the loop with teen gossip. 

Mahdi spoke again, "So apparently this guy ran out of some fancy hotel all naked and shit and ran around the city until the police picked him up. It's the same kid who repeated a year last year because he posted a bunch of offensive shit on social media and then disappeared for like a month." 

When Magnus laughed, it was the last straw. 

"I don't get what's so funny about this. He's obviously mentally ill. Plus, it's none of your business anyway. It should be between his friends and family. I mean, he doesn't even go to Nissen!" 

Jonas nodded and Isak could tell that he felt awkward about knowing things that the rest of the boys didn't. 

"Chill, bro. I'm just telling you what I heard," Mahdi replied with his hands up. 

Magnus' eyes widened. "Wait, is this the same Bakka kid that dumped his girlfriend last week for some guy? I heard his new boyfriend goes to our school. Maybe he's the one spreading the gossip." 

Jonas finally spoke, "I'm pretty sure that if the guy likes him, then he wouldn't go around spreading this gossip." 

Mahdi and Magnus nodded at Jonas' point, but Isak was frozen in his seat. He hoped that they'd move on soon. 

"Though," Magnus began, "if he did leave his girlfriend for a guy, then that's probably the person who was at the hotel with him. Maybe he cheated or something when he lost it. I mean, I don't know what type of guy this is." 

"But Even is a nice guy," Isak interjected. He didn't realize his mistake until Jonas' fork clattered to the ground. 

"Do you know him?" asked Mahdi. "Why didn't you say something earlier. You could have cleared up the story." 

Isak shrugged nonchalantly so they'd think he was just a bro. "Even walked out of the room naked to get McDonald's. It's not his fault. He's bipolar." With every word he spoke, he could feel the fear and sadness that he had experienced on Friday night. 

"My mom is also bipolar. That's why I thought it was funny," Magnus clarified. 

"Your mom is crazy too?" Isak asked, thinking of his own mother. 

Magnus furrowed his eyebrows. "She's not crazy. She's bipolar. She has her highs and lows, but she's still pretty much a typical person. You've met her. Last time you were over, Isak, she was depressed. Remember?" 

Isak nodded. He remembered how she had slept all day, but he had not put the pieces together until Magnus pointed it out.  

"So, how's Even right now?" asked Magnus. 

"I'm not sure," replied Isak. "We haven't talked in a few days." 

"Well, he's probably really down right now, so maybe he'd enjoy a visit from a friend," Magnus advised. 

Isak shrugged and avoided eye contact with any of the boys. "I've been told that I should stay away from him. He only hung out with me because he was manic." 

"Holy shit!" Mahdi exclaimed. "You're the dude he left his girlfriend for!" 

"Yeah, just tell the whole school then," snorted Jonas. 

Magnus' jaw dropped open. "Wait, so you're gay, bro?" 

Isak played with his thumbs and looked down. "I mean like, I guess but-" 

Magnus shoved him. "Why didn't you tell us? Is it because Mahdi is Catholic?" 

Mahdi glared at Magnus. "Seriously, bro. Most Catholic people aren't homophobic. Plus, I'm not even that religious." 

"Hey Isak," Magnus said. He finally looked up. "Now that you're gay, you can help us get chicks." 

"It doesn't make your game any better though," Isak replied. Jonas and Mahdi started laughing. 

"Man, you guys must really hate me. Why else would you always be so cold to me?" 

"Wait," Jonas said, backtracking the conversation, "Who told you to stay away from Even?" 

Isak must have left out part of the story when he sent it in a broken string of texts. "Sonja, his ex." 

"Seriously, bro," Magnus laughed. "You're taking advice from his ex? Just talk to him when you're ready. I don't think he would leave her for you just because he was manic." 

Isak nodded. "I'll call him soon." 

The bell rang and they walked out of the cafeteria. On the way out, he received a text. 

 

**Mamma**  

I have loved you since you were born on June 21st 1999 at 21:21 and I will love you forever.  

 

Isak smiled a little for the first time since his evening with Even. His mom loved and accepted him for who he is. He knew that he would have to return the favor and maybe, thanks to Even, he was ready to start to fully understand her schizophrenia. 

 

It wasn't until Wednesday afternoon that Isak finally worked up the courage to call Even. He had made sure that Eskild and Noora weren't home because he didn't want to deal with either of them while he was already so anxious about the phone call. 

Isak took a deep breath, willed the panic to leave his body, and called, practically shaking. 

The phone rung and rung and rung. And when it stopped, he heard Even's deep voice say, "Sorry. I can't come to the phone right now-" before hanging up abruptly. 

When he called again, it went straight to voicemail without ringing at all. Isak couldn't keep the tears from streaming down his face. Even had seen Isak's call and turned his phone off. 

His own phone started ringing a few minutes later and Isak got his hopes up until he saw that it was from the last person in the world that he wanted to hear from: his dad. 

Still, Isak brushed the tears from his face and took a deep breath so his dad wouldn't be able to hear that he was crying. 

"Halla, Pappa," he said, more like a question than a greeting. 

"Hei, Isak. It has been a long time since we last talked."  

_Since before he left him alone to take care of_ _Mamma_ _,_ Isak thought before replying. "Ja, what do you need?" 

He must have failed to mask his anger because his dad was quiet for a moment before he said, "Isak... Don't be like this. I send you money so that you can live in an apartment instead of at home. It's not like I've never done anything for you." 

"But you've called me for a reason, haven't you?" 

Isak's dad sighed. "Your mother has been doing much better and we have been talking a lot more recently. I might even move back home soon. Us leaving must have been a wake-up call for her, because she has been taking her medication consistently." 

"You can't just choose to be with her when she's healthy," Isak snapped. "You have to be there for her in her bad days too." 

"You left too, Isak," his dad reminded him. 

Isak clenched his fist. "You don't know how much you destroyed her by leaving. I just couldn't do it anymore. But I'm just a kid. And you're her  _husband._ " 

He could hear his dad taking a deep breath on the other line. "I didn't call you to fight, Isak. Or to get you to move back home with us, if that's what you were thinking." 

"Then why did you call?" Isak replied skeptically. 

"Your mom told me that you texted her the other day and I was wondering if you would like to come with us to a Christmas concert at church on Saturday night. It would just be the three of us because Lea doesn't get back for another week." 

"I'm not sure that I really want to go to church," Isak said. 

"I'm trying to bring peace to this family, Isak. It's one night and it's for your mother. Can you please do this one thing?" his dad pleaded. 

"Fine,"  Isak replied. "Just text me the details." 

"Oh, and your mom said that you've gotten a boyfriend. I wanted to say that I think that's nice and I don't care if you're gay. You can bring him this weekend if you'd like." 

"I was just joking about having a boyfriend." Isak spoke quickly, as if talking were a race. 

"Okay?" His dad paused for a moment. "I guess I'll see you on Saturday then." 

The line was quiet for a moment.

"Pappa," Isak spoke softly, trying to hold back his tears. "It wasn't a joke. It's just over." 

"Are you okay?" his dad asked, as if he hadn't hurt Isak worse than anybody else ever could. 

"Ja, I'm fine," he replied in a broken voice. "Bye Pappa." 

"Bye." 

Isak threw his phone onto his bed and sat down and cried until he felt numb. 

 

He didn't go out that Friday even though all his friends were. He just didn't want to deal with it and, as much as they pleaded, he instead settled on laying in his bed and trying to focus on watching some stupid show on Netflix. 

The last person he expected to check in on him was Linn.  

"Hei Isak," she greeted from his doorway. 

"Halla, Linn. What's going on?" he asked. 

She shrugged. "You've been sad lately, so I thought that I'd come lay with you." 

Isak nodded. "I guess you can come on in then." 

She laid next to him on his bed and they didn't talk the entire evening. It was good though, feeling the quiet comfort of a friend that understood what hurt felt like. 

Linn didn't leave until Eskild came home in the early hours of the morning. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so, one more chapter after this to tie everything up.

Isak was feeling a little better by Saturday and he was actually somewhat excited to be seeing his mom again after so much time apart.  

When he arrived at the chapel five minutes before the concert was due to start, his palms were a bit sweaty and his heart was racing. What if his parents were just pretending to accept him and they were actually disappointed? He knew that their opinions shouldn't matter to him anyway, but they did. 

When he walked in and saw his mom, he was taken aback. She looked so good. Last time he had seen her, she was throwing things. Her hair stood up in every direction and her eyes were red due to countless nights without sleep. Now, her hair was brushed nicely and she had died her gray hairs. Her eyes were bright and full of life. Isak couldn't remember the last time that he saw her looking this happy. 

He hugged her and he didn't want to let go, but when he did she cupped his face in her hands. 

"My boy," she said with a smile, "all grown up." 

Then his dad hugged him, and  he wasn't exactly sure how he felt about that. Isak was still angry at him, but he knew that one day he was going to have to let it go. 

As they were sitting down, he received a long text. 

 

 **Even**  

 Dear Isak.  

Right now I’m sitting near the last place we were together and I’m thinking about you. Soon it’s 21:21. I want to tell you a thousand things.  I’m sorry for scaring you. I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m sorry for not telling you I’m bipolar. I was scared of losing you. I had forgotten that it’s not possible to lose anyone, that all humans are alone anyways. Another place in the universe we’re together in infinite time, remember that.  

Love you. Even 

 

Isak sat for a moment while the concert started. They were playing "O Helga Natt" and he was having a bit of a crisis. Should he stay and risk losing Even forever or leave and potentially sacrifice having a better relationship with his parents. 

He thought of Even. How he must feel. He thought about how his mom had felt when his dad left. He wasn't like his dad. He wasn't going to leave the person he loved because he was too scared to face the truth. 

So Isak stood up, walked out the church, and ran. He ran and ran. He didn't stop when his legs started hurting or when he ached for breath. He ran over three miles just to get to the hotel where Even must be. 

Isak stood outside the giant hotel and wondered where he should start. He hadn't seen the hotel as daunting the last time he was there, but now it looked like an absolute monster. He wasn't sure where to start. Was Even able to get back into the room? Would he be waiting at the front desk? Was he gone already? 

Then, somebody walked out of the hotel. It was Even, bundled in a million layers of clothing. And he looked absolutely shocked to see Isak. 

The walked to each other, meeting halfway. Isak kissed away the cold tears on each of Even's red cheeks. 

"You are not alone," he whispered. 

Then he kissed Even, partially just to show him that he was there and wasn't about to go anywhere.  

Isak wrapped his arms around Even and they hugged as if they were the only two people on the Earth that mattered. 

 

Even was depressed. Isak knew that it wasn't his fault, that his presence wouldn't magically cure Even's mental illness. Still, he didn't know if there was something that he could do to make it just a little bit easier on Even. 

He contemplated calling Magnus, but what worked for his mom wouldn't necessarily work for Even. He didn't have the numbers for anybody else in Even's life which was something that he probably needed to change when he could. 

Isak grabbed Even's phone off the nightstand and prayed that he'd stay asleep. There was no passcode, which seemed astonishing because Isak knew that Even had two younger sisters. He scrolled through the contacts until he got to Sonja's name. He hoped that she wouldn't be mad at him for letting Even in. Isak pressed call. 

"Even?" Spoke her familiar voice. 

"Uh, no it's Isak. I didn't have your number, sorry." 

"Okay?" She seemed uncertain of what was going on and he felt awkward. 

"I know that Even can't help but to be depressed, but is there anything I can do to help him?" he asked. 

"Not really. Just be there for him. If it seem like too much take it just an hour at a time, or a minute," she advised.  

"Thank you. Should I try to get him home?" He didn't want Even's parents to be worried. 

"I think that the best place for him is with you right now, Isak. He's told his parents where he is." She paused for a second. "And Isak?" 

"Ja?" 

"I'm sorry about what I said to you last week. I was incredibly scared for him in that moment as well as confused. You're not bad for him. And he loves you very much," Sonja apologized. 

"I'm sorry that I took him from you. He really is amazing." Isak wished there were more people like Even in the world. 

"Don't be," she assured him. "Even and I haven't been in love for a long time. It was past time for us to let each other go. I've got to get ready for work. Bye, Isak." 

"Bye, Sonja." 

Isak hung up the phone and put it back on the nightstand. Then, he laid back down next to Even and brushed the hair away from his sleeping face. Even stirred a little than his eyes opened. 

"Halla," Isak spoke softly with a small smile. 

Even turned up to the ceiling. "This isn't going to work. I can't have you lying there and looking at me all sad." 

Isak shook his head. "I'm not sad." 

Even looked back over at him. "I'm just going to end up hurting you." 

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Even, you don't know shit about how this is going to end. An atomic bomb could drop on us tomorrow for all we know! So, for now, we'll take this thing totally chill." 

Even nodded slightly. 

"Do you want to play a game?" Isak asked. 

He just shrugged in response. 

"It's called Isak and Even, minute by minute. In this game, we only focus on the next minute." 

"What will we do in this minute?" asked Even. 

"In this minute we kiss." 

And they did. It was soft and comfortable. And for that minute, it was all that mattered. 

 

Isak wished that his roommates realized that Even was depressed, not a child. When he asked them to keep an eye on him, he meant just check in every once and a while and try to get him to eat. Yet, Eskild gave him text updates nearly every five minutes. 

He was getting books out of his locker when he heard Vilde's high-pitched voice.  "Hei Isak!" 

He smiled half-heartedly at her. "Hallo Vilde." 

"I have something to ask you," he gestured for her to continue. "So, the rave party was a big hit and I was wondering if you would host a Christmas party for kosegruppa next Friday." 

Isak raised an eyebrow. "Vilde, I'm not even a member. I just did hosted last time because Emma made me." 

She wiggled her eyebrows. "And she might come to the party." 

He snorted. "I've moved on. Trust me." 

"So will you host or not? You can invite your friends." Vilde paused for a moment. "Like Magnus." 

Isak nodded. "Okay, I'll do it."  

Mostly because he still owed Magnus for forgetting his birthday. 

 

He walked over to Emma when she was alone at her locker and, for the first time, a girl was making him nervous. 

"Halla, Emma." 

She turned and looked at him with surprise strewn across her face. "Hei?" 

"So, there's this asshole in second year, and he's been really rude to this girl by stringing her along when he's never had any romantic interest. He's really sorry and he was wondering if she'd like to come to the kosegruppa Christmas party." 

"I accept your apology," she laughed. "But I have switched to PR group with my other friends." 

Isak nodded. "I hope we can be friends, then." 

Emma smiled. "Of course. And I'm sorry too. I was angry, but I still shouldn't have said that to you when you were obviously struggling with your sexuality." 

Isak grinned. "It's okay, Emma. I'm glad we're friends." 

 

When Isak got home from school on Friday, Even and Linn were in his bedroom playing FIFA and they were really into it. 

"Halla," he greeted from the doorway. 

Linn threw her controller on the bed. "Thank god you're home. I'm going to go lie down."  

Even laughed. "Are you angry because I'm so good at this game?" 

She rolled her eyes and left the room. 

"Halla," he said again when it was just the two of them. 

"Halla," Even replied and then leaned up for a chaste kiss before they laid down together. 

"Did you ask your roommates to babysit me this week?" Even asked. 

"No?!" Isak practically shouted and Even raised an eyebrow. 

"You're a terrible liar!" he exclaimed. 

"I'm an awesome liar. You wouldn't believe the shit I've gotten away with." 

"Ja?" Even raised his eyebrows. 

"That's a story for another time though," Isak replied. "Would yu be up for a Christmas party next week." 

Even shrugged. "I think so. It's a week away. But, um, I was going to go home for a few days." 

Isak nodded. "Okay."  

"Not because of you," Even assured. "My mom misses me. Also, she says that she wants to meet you." 

"Ja? When?" Isak asked. 

"I told her maybe Sunday night." 

He smiled. "Sunday night dinner sounds perfect. You'll have to help me find something to wear, though. I've never 'met the parents' before." 

Even grasped his hand. "I already told you, Isak. They are absolutely going to love you." 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for everything! You can hmu on crackandcanonships.tumbl.com w prompts, questions, or anything. I'm so happy I finished this today bc I'm leaving for Glaciar in a week so I don't have to rush anything. Idk what I'll write next, but this was a ton of fun!

Isak had to be at Even's house in less than an hour and he was totally freaking out. He didn't know what a person should wear when meeting their boyfriend's parents. He didn't even know what a person would wear to Sunday dinner. Like, with his parents, they would dress up somewhat formally on Sundays, but at Jonas' house they just dressed like they did everyday. 

Eskild must have seen him freaking out through the doorway because he popped into the room. "Are you okay?" he asked with uncertainty. 

Isak threw a t-shirt onto the ground. "I'm meeting Even's family tonight." 

"That's exciting!" Eskild replied. 

"I don't really know what to wear," said Isak, smelling a pair of pants on his floor. 

Eskild grinned. "Oh, so do you need my help? A little fashion advice?" 

"Sure," Isak shrugged, "I'd take anything at this point. Just nothing too over the top" 

Eskild nodded and scanned the room. "Jeans with no holes. Light purple button-down shirt," He threw it to Isak, who barely managed to catch it. "And black socks. Absolutely no holes. His parents aren't going to want to see your toes hanging out." 

"Do I need a tie?" Isak asked. 

Eskild shook his head. "It's dinner, not a wedding." 

Eskild left and Isak quickly dressed himself then picked up the clothes he had left lying all over his room. He was shaking the entire bus ride to Even's neighborhood and he hoped that he hadn't sweated through his shirt by the time he made it to the house. 

He knocked on the door and before he could even pull his fist away somebody yanked it open and he was face to face with two girls. They must have been Even's sisters because they had the same blue eyes and light blonde hair. One appeared to be a tween and the other was just a few years younger. 

The older one held out her hand. "I'm Britt," she said, like she was meeting a client.  

He shook her hand. "Nice to meet you. I'm Isak." 

"My name is Cat!" the other girl chirped. "Did you know that Even went through an emo phase when he was younger? He dyed his hair bl-" 

Even came rushing down the stairs and put his hand over her mouth. "Don't listen to anything they say. It's all lies." 

Isak snorted. "It's good to see you too, Even." 

He rolled his eyes and gave Isak a quick peck on the lips. 

"Disgusting," said Britt and the two girls walked away. 

"Are you ready to meet my parents?" Even asked. 

Isak forced a smile. "I guess I'm as ready as I'll ever be." 

Even led him into the kitchen, where both of his parents were standing. They were smiling and joking about something, so they didn't notice the two boys that had entered. 

"Hallo," Isak greeted, "I'm Isak." 

"Thomas," Even's dad shook his hand. He was tall and muscular, but had very kind eyes. 

Even's mom, however, was tiny. She wrapped Isak in a warm hug. "I'm Kari. It's wonderful to meet you, Isak." 

Cat ran into the kitchen and latched onto Kari. "Mamma, is Finn coming tonight?" 

"Nei, love," replied Kari, stroking her hair. 

"Doesn't he have to meet Isak too?" 

"Not today," Even said, ushering Isak out of the room. 

"Who's Finn?" asked Isak. Even had never mentioned him before. 

"My older brother. He's married and has a daughter so he lives elsewhere," Even explained, "We don't get along, so we can leave it at that." 

"Okay," replied Isak with a nod. He respected the fact that Even wasn't ready to tell him everything yet. 

 

Isak didn't regret leaving his parents at the church to be with Even, but he did kind of feel bad. He had gotten a string of angry texts from his dad and a message from his mom asking if he was okay. He had ignored them for a while because he was unsure of exactly what to say. He felt guilty for doing it, but he wasn't really sorry. He couldn't be sorry because, if given the choice between his parents and Even, he woeen his parents and Even, he would choose Even every single time. 

But, it was time to do something. So, Isak called his mom. He knew that she would be more understanding. 

"Hei, Isak?" She sounded tired. 

"Halla, Mamma. Were you sleeping?" Isak asked. He shouldn't have called so late on a Tuesday night. 

"It's fine. What's going on?" His mom seemed concerned. 

"I just wanted to say that I feel bad about walking out of the concert last week. It had nothing to do with you, Mamma. I love you so much," he explained. 

"I love you too, Isak. And I'm not angry." He was thankful for how understanding his mom was. "Could you explain why to me, though? Your pappa is a bit mad and he might like it if I told him what happened. I know things are a bit tense between the two of you." 

"Ja, Mamma. Thanks," he replied. "Even and I hadn't talked much that week, but then he needed me. And, well, I couldn't risk losing him forever." 

"You have so much love in your heart, Isak. I'm glad that wasn't taken away from you when you were stripped of your childhood." He began to argue but she talked over him. "And don't even lie. We both know that your father and I hurt you, even if it was unintentional. You were so strong, and it's because your heart is so big. I love you so much." 

"I love you too, Mamma," he smiled. 

"Have a great night. I'll see you soon, I hope." 

"Good night. I can't wait to see you, Mamma." 

Isak fell asleep with a smile on his face. 

 

Isak didn't think that Vilde's party would be able to top last year's Christmas bash, but it did. Well, for him at least. Because he was surrounded by all of his friends and everybody was just so happy. 

He was standing the kitchen with the boys, leaning against the counter and enjoying a beer.  

"I look great. I'm definitely gonna get laid tonight," Magnus stated. Isak snorted. Magnus was wearing the ugliest sweater he had ever seen.  

"You have to act like you're not desperate, bro. Otherwise it'll never happen," Mahdi pointed out. 

Even walked up to them. "What'll never happen?" 

The boys stared at him and Isak remembered that they had never met. 

"Boys, this is Even. Even this is Mahdi, Magnus, and Jonas. 

Even shook all their hands. "So what's not gonna happen." 

Jonas spoke, "Magnus isn't going to get laid if he keeps being so desperate." 

Even shook his head. "I disagree, man. I think you should take desperate to a new level. I mean, I sent Isak messages online for weeks before he noticed. I had to make a post about it before he messaged me back." 

Magnus' jaw dropped and he brought his hands to his forehead "Oh my god. You're  _that_  Even." 

Everybody burst into laughter as Magnus caught Even in a bone-crushing hug. "Thanks for the advice." 

He ran to go talk to Vilde and it must have worked, seeing as they were making out just moments later. 

Mahdi and Jonas both left and Isak was finally alone with Even.  

"Halla," Isak greeted Even before pressing a soft kiss to his lips. 

"Your friends seem nice," Even commented. 

"They're alright," replied Isak. "Sometimes they get annoying. Especially when they're drunk. They'd probably say the same thing about me, though." 

"It's all lies, I'm sure. Eskild told me that you're grumpy. I don't know how much I believe him," Even said with a wink. 

 

Near the end of the party he was able to sit down and talk to Eva. It was the first real conversation they had since he admitted to breaking up her and Jonas. 

"You've changed since the last time we talked," Eva pointed out. 

Isak nodded. "I guess I've been less manipulative lately." 

Eva laughed. "Jonas and I had a lot of problems back then. We didn't trust one another. I've grown a lot since then and I think he has too. Maybe we'll get back together one day. I still think I have feelings for him." 

Isak nodded. "I always thought the two of you were meant to be. Maybe that's part of the reason that I messed it all up." 

"It's in the past now. And sorry about telling Jonas. I thought he already knew and I just kinda mentioned it," Eva apologized. 

"He had the right to know. I should have told him the truth a long time ago," replied Isak. 

"Now let's talk about you for a second. I see you've gotten yourself a boyfriend!" 

Isak smiled and nodded. "Ja, I have." 

"He tall and handsome," she nudged him. "You better be careful. I might steal him." 

Isak laughed. "Good luck. I've managed to trick him into dating me using only my good looks and charming personality." 

Eva rolled her eyes, but kept smiling. "So how are things going? Is Even the man of your dreams?" 

He shrugged. "I don't know. It's great right now, but not long ago it wasn't going very well." 

She nodded. "Stress." 

Isak continued. "I mean like it’s so good when it’s good but that's also the reason it’s so bad when it’s bad, if that makes sense? And suddenly it can be over tomorrow, but nonetheless I’m thrilled that I met him." 

"Because that's when you were sure that you were into guys," she added. 

He debated her statement for a second. "Maybe a little bit, I guess. More because I was just fake, before that. I was just at home watching Narcos and was gaming and stuff. I’m done with that. Now I want my life to be genuine. Even though that means that it will sometimes be terrible, it’s much better than for everything to be fake and boring." 

"Well put," Eva nodded. 

"It’s a bit of a cliché to say it, but you never know who’s gonna die tomorrow, y’know and whether you believe in Allah or Jesus or the theory of evolution or parallel universes, there’s only one thing we all know for certain and that’s," Isak looked up while he was talking to see Even laughing while he was helping to hang up the mistletoe. "That life is now." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay ik the thing with Even's brother is kinda random but it's my headcanon that he has a sibling rivalry


End file.
